


Of Beards and Trousers

by Jestana



Series: 30 Days of AU [24]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, FemBagginshield Week 2013, Gen, Genderswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 21:37:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/905221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jestana/pseuds/Jestana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo and Thorin argue about beards and trousers. Gandalf puts an end to it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Beards and Trousers

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 30 day AU challenge. The challenge for this one was _Genderswapped_. In my head, _all_ of them have been genderswapped. Pre-slash if you lean that way (which I do *wink*). No beta.

"Beards." Bilbo asserted, hands on hips.

"Trousers," Thorin returned with a shake of her majestic head.

Gandalf raised a bushy grey eyebrow from her place in the doorway. "What have I missed?"

The would-be King Under the Mountain (all dwarf rulers were called kings, whether they were male or female) turned to the wizard with a scowl. "Bilbo insists that our beards are why there's been so much confusion about who is male and who is female."

"And you do not agree with this?" Gandalf leaned on her staff, reaching up with one hand to stroke her bare chin.

Bilbo gave a very unladylike snort at that. "Of course she doesn't, Gandalf. _She_ says trousers are the cause of the confusion!"

"Indeed?" She glanced at Thorin, who actually looked rather sulky.

After a moment, Thorin sighed heavily. "Not _all_ trousers. Just _hers_. All the female hobbits we'd met had worn skirts or dresses. How were we to know that they _do_ occasionally wear trousers?"

"And how was _I_ to know that dwarf women can also have beards?" Bilbo retorted, glaring at Thorin.

Stifling a chuckle of amusement that would only have irritated the two, Gandalf waved her hand for quiet. "In this case, I think _both_ of you are correct. Perhaps you should consider sharing more about your respective cultures to avoid confusion in the future?"

As she left, she heard Bofur exclaim: "At last! D'you realise that you were arguing about beards and trousers for an _hour_?"


End file.
